


Unfinished

by akihikoakausagisan



Series: Kuroo & Kenma [18]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:09:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27502090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akihikoakausagisan/pseuds/akihikoakausagisan
Summary: Not done yet - THIS WORK IS NOT FINISHED YET
Relationships: Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: Kuroo & Kenma [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1029881
Kudos: 10





	Unfinished

Kenma felt dread in his stomach as his alarm went off. It was so irritating hearing it, and he clenched his fists as he turned it off, feeling the odd mix of anger and melancholy rise in him that did every morning now. The latter wasn’t unusual to feel at times, but anger was a rather new feeling to him. Before, he never really had gotten angry over anything. At most a aggravation from stress, but now he was feeling angry ever single day. And it was his own fault.

It was Kenma’s last year of high school, and so far it was horrible. He was miserable and growing more lonesome and angry every day. And he was the only one to blame, even if he so badly wanted to place the blame on Kuroo.

But he knew deep down that it had been his fault that he had become so dependent on the other. Ever since their childhood, Kenma had depended on Kuroo for everything. And Kuroo always had provided. He had always been there, helping, handling, and supporting Kenma. And the blonde had just been accustomed. It had seemed so natural and unchanging, that when Kuroo went to college Kenma was left in a dark and empty place, alone and friendless. 

I mean, he wasn’t actually friendless, he had everyone in the volleyball team, plus Hinata. So maybe it wasn’t the loneliness of losing a friend... but rather the feeling of heartbreak, losing a piece of himself. His companion, and perhaps even soulmate. 

And he was lost now. Lost and feeling as though he wanted to cut everything out of his life and live simply as an empty shell. Without Kuroo there all the time, all he had was volleyball. And even if became dull. His video games didn’t have the same effect on him when there wasn’t someone there scolding him for playing them late into the night.

He knew he was being overly dramatic. He would go to university too. And it’s not as if Kuroo was far away, he still lived at home. But he was gone often now, doing things Kenma didn’t know about, and the space between them seemed like a vast and dark ocean. They still texted every few days, and Kuroo would say things like ‘Miss you’ or mCan’t wait to see you soon’. But they hadn’t actually seen each other in weeks, even though they lived so close. 

And on top of this, Kenma didn’t have to courage to just show up at the others house. He couldn’t invite himself into Kuroo’s life all the time like Kuroo used to do with him. Perhaps that was even why Kuroo was more distant, perhaps Kenma had made him feel unwanted anymore. But to the blonde, Kuroo was anything but unwanted. He wouldn’t admit it aloud, but he wanted Kuroo so much it hurt and made him angry. Which again, was a new feeling for him.

But now he was running late, not that he really cared, but he stepped outside and began to walk to the train stop. However, he had t even got five feet before a car pulled up next to him. 

“I figured you were running late. Come on, I’ll drive you.” 

Kenma looked, and his heart raced as he saw the familiar grin and messy hair. 

“K-Kuroo-“ he stuttered dumbly. He didn’t know what else to say, so he simply went and got into the car. It smelled like Kuroo, mixed with a new car scent. 

Kuroo grinned as he got in, his eyes alight at the sight of the smaller. Kenma felt the eyes on him, and flushed both with embarrassment and a slight pang of happiness. 

“No hello?”

Kenma shifted his eyes over and glanced up at the others face. Kuroo just laughed. 

“Are you mad at me? I thought you would be joyous to see me.” But before Kenma could answer, he went on. “How’s volleyball? Still working hard right?” 

Kenma shrugged. “I guess.” He murmured as he looked out the window, trying to seem tired so that he didn’t have to talk too much. If he began talking he felt like he might cry, or yell or do something uncharacteristic.

“Hmm, am I going to have to start overseeing your practices?” 

“No. Definitely not.”

And Kuroo just laughed, the smile never leaving his features. As they made their way, exchanging a few words, a small noise sounded and Kuroo said he needed gas before continuing. They were almost there, and it wasn’t too late yet so they stopped. 

As the older was out getting gas and going into the small convenience store, Kenma let out a small breath, glad to be alone again. He didn’t know how to act. He sat still in the passengers seat before letting his eyes drift around the vehicle, taking it in. Glancing into the backseat, he noticed something small on the floor. Curiously, he reached over and picked the thing up. As he held it in his hand, he realized what it was just as a phone went off next to him. His eyes instinctively moved over to the screen of Kuroo’s phone which lay on the seat next to him. 

It was a women’s name, someone Kenma didn’t recognize.

Then suddenly it occurred to him what kind of situation this was. And he couldn’t handle it. His blood began to boil and his heart sank as his worst fear began to manifest in front of him. The school was only a block away, and he didn’t see Kuroo anywhere, so he made a decision. 

A minute later. And Kuroo was walking out to the car with the steamed buns in a small plastic bag. He frowned and immediately went on alert as he realized that it was empty. 

“Kenma?” He asked, looking around. 

There was no reply. He hasn’t in sight. Kuroo called him immediately, ignoring the message on the screen as the phone began to rang. He didn’t pick up, but a minute later the blonde sent him a short text.

‘at school.’

Kuroo frowned, his brows furrowing. He didn’t understand why the boy had left without a word, it was something Kenma would have never done. And yet Kuroo felt as though the entire time they’d been together had been strained, so it almost was not unexpected. 

The frown didn’t leave Kuroo’s lips the rest of the day.

Kenma, however, had a bit more than a frown on his features the rest of the day. He was practically scowling during every class, and he felt as though ice water flowed through his veins. He was pissy at practice, muttering under his breath and ignoring his teammates. He was distraught, but layering that was anger and it shone through. 

“Hey Kenma,” said Lev from behind the blonde where he stood, getting a drink from his almost empty bottle. 

“Are you okay today?”

Kenma shrugged, not really looking over at the other. 

“Well, is there anything we can do to help?” The tall mixed boy said, frowning with his large eyes watching the much shorter boy. 

“No.” Kenma whispered, losing his eyes to the ground.

“There’s nothing.”

Lev stood still, contemplating. He didn’t say anymore, just turned and left, going back to the floor, leaving the blonde standing still and silent, water dripping from the tip of the bottle as it was clenched right in the boys grip.

Practice was over shortly after this, and Kenma left right away without saying goodbye or even showering. His heart pounded, even though he walked rather slowly home. 

I never want to see him again he kept repeating over and over in his mind. Never.

But he knew as he thought these words they weren’t true. He knew this but still, his resolve paired with his stubborn nature settled in, and he knew what he was going to do. He would simply ignore Kuroo from then on, force them to drift apart by silence and avoidance. Then perhaps the burning in his stomach and organs would subside and he could once again be alone and independent.

However, it was rather hard to completely ignore and cut someone off when they were sitting at your dining room table for dinner.

“Oh, Kenma, you’re home!” His mother said brightly as she moved about the kitchen. Kuroo was sitting at the kitchen table, grinning. Yet when he saw Kenma, a flicker went through his features. But it was quickly gone and he opened his mouth to speak. But Kenma was too quick.

“I’m taking a shower.” He said swiftly, turning without another word and going up to his room, shutting and locking the bathroom door. Tears pricked his eyes as he undressed, stepping into the steamy and scalding water that all but scorched his skin. He didn’t want Kuroo there. He had just set his resolve! It wouldn’t withstand if the other stayed too long. 

He took his dear time in the water before stepping out, wrapping a towel around his waist before stepping into his room. Thankfully Kuroo hadn’t intruded, and the boy changed in peace before unwillingly making his way down the stairs back to the kitchen. 

There his parents sat, waiting for him along with Kuroo. Kenma grimaced, and begrudgingly sat next to Kuroo, which was the only available seat. His mother smiled as she beamed at the two of them, sitting side by side.

“Ah, just like when you were little!” She said gleefully.

The rest of dinner was rather quiet, mostly eating and not much small talk. Kenma was thankful for this, but he couldn’t help but feel the eyes on the back of his neck, or rather the side, which meant Kuroo was observing him. He didn’t look at the other, just kept his eyes down as he ate small bites.

When dinner was over, Kuroo was the first to stand. 

“I’ll be leaving now, I have classes early tomorrow. Thank you for the meal Mrs. Kozume.” He smiled.

“Oh, anytime my dear!” She said happily. “Kenma, walk him out to his car, and no excuses, even if you are tired.” She said, looking at her son.

Kenma let out a small breath and his eyebrow twitched, but he got up, shuffling alongside Kuroo as they left through the front door.

Outside, Kenma silently walked Kuroo down to where his car was parked, unable to bring himself to look up at the raven. 

“Bye.” He said shortly, not knowing what else to do or say.

There was silence, then a hand on his wrist which abruptly slammed him a against the side of the parked vehicle, his hand pressed against his chest, pinned down by Kuroo. 

“What the hell is the matter?” Kuroo said fiercely in a very angry and rapid voice that was much unlike his normally relaxed demeanor. 

“K-Kuroo I-“

“Why are you acting like this? Hm?” He said, eyes dark and half hidden behind his hair.

“I don’t-“ 

“Don’t say you don’t know because I know you do, I know you.” 

Tears suddenly welled and began to drip from Kenma’s golden and rather frightened eyes. This made Kuroo let go, but didn’t dwindle his anger down. The blonde didn’t move, and didn’t speak, he couldn’t look the other in the face. He felt his fingers tremble.

“Well?” Kuroo said, still with ferocity.

“I was late.” Kenma choked out, eyes still down.

Kuroo made a frustrated noise and turned, rubbing his hands on his forehead before turning back around and crossing his arms, eyes fixed on the blonde. Kenma couldn’t help it but allow a few tears to fall from his face and hit the ground below, noiseless. 

“Why are you acting so strange? Lev told me you haven’t been speaking or helping lead at practice. You don’t answer my texts or calls barely. Is something going on?” He asked, now only slightly softer.

Kenma shook his head, but was now very irritated. Kuroo had talked to Lev and the others?

“Why do you even care?” The blonde asked meekly. 

“Why do I care? Because I told you before I left that I wanted you to lead the team, help the others to succeed and you said you would. But now you aren’t even trying! Why aren’t you trying? Are you really that lazy and unmotivated?” 

Pain shot through Kenma, and he began to breath heavily. The anger that had stewed inside him all these weeks was about to breakthrough and he knew he couldn’t stop it even if he wanted to.

“I...” and now his eyes looked up and they were hard and dark.

“I never even wanted to play. Everything- everything I did you pushed me into. I played- for you, Kuroo! And now, it’s all-“ and his face flushed brightly.

“-it’s all for nothing. You made me like this. And now you don’t even care- don’t even want me. How can you say I don’t respond? Respond to what! Nothing? You left me! And now you’re off away at your fucking fancy university, popular, an athlete- fucking girls in the back of your car every night-“ he was yelling now, panting as he glared at his childhood friend. His vision was blurry from tears and rage, and he no longer cared about keeping his cool composure.

“And you’re trying to come with you pompous and self righteous attitude- reprimanding me for shit you only know held the story about because you don’t bother to ask! You’re fucking unbearable. Fuck off and don’t talk to me. I don’t want to see you.” He ended, vision focusing a bit now to see the face of the other.

Kuroo looked more taken aback than Kenma had ever seen him. He couldn’t even speak because he never expected such a outburst. 

“K-Kenma I-“ he stuttered. 

“No. No more.” Kenma said more meekly now, turning and beginning to walk away. 

But Kuroo grabbed him roughly, pulling him back. He had broken out of his shock, and his anger was present now.

“What are you even talking about?” He asked lowly, pushing the blonde once again against the car, pinning him there as he leaned in closer. 

Kenma’s heart raced and he wanted to push back, but he was weak compared to the other, and the proximity between them was suffocating yet intoxicating. He didn’t know what was going on.

“You know what.” He whispered harshly.

“I know you said you’d be mad at me for fucking a girl.” Kuroo was closer now,and Kenma could feel his breath on his neck.

The blonde didn’t respond to this, but looked up challengingly into Kuroo’s eyes. 

There was a moment of stillness, then their lips were together, inseparable as they moved together fiercely, Kuroo taking the lead and Kenma melting against him. Kenma felt his anger burn into something different as he was held against the car, his back arching into the metal as Kuroo leaned forwards, his hands moving from Kenma’s wrists to his waist. 

When they finally broke apart, it felt as if the years of pent up feelings were finally out in the open. Kenma felt renewed, as if the months and weeks of anger and resentment were suddenly gone. He was flushed and panting, but he felt so relieved. Yet, he still was upset and not understanding why what had just happened happened.

“What-“ he began breathily. 

“Kenma, I’m in love with you.”

The blonde’s hands began to shake slightly and his face turned scarlet. 

“Don’t mess with me.” He said quickly and softly, adverting his eyes.

Kuroo was surprised by this, he knew Kenma could tell when he was lying or not, so he didn’t understand this reaction. He gripped the others hands, holding them firmly and looking into the small face.

“I’m not. You know I’m not.”

“But- y-you- I saw... in your car...” Kenma began, voice cracking. “I saw that women’s earring... and then the text...” 

Kuroo grimaced. He had suspected this. When he had come out from the store earlier that day, there had a been a rather provocative message on his phone from a girl in one of his classes. They knew each other’s passwords, and never hid anything on their phones, so he had wondered if Kenma had seen...

“Kenma I... I’m going to tell you the truth. It’s true that had a girl in my car a few weeks ago...”

Kenma’s brows furrowed and a twinge of anger, but moreover jealousy erupted in him.

“Then how could you possibly...” Kenma murmured, pulling his hands from Kuroo’s grip, but the raven wouldn’t let him.

“There’s more Ken, I promise. I’m so sorry... since middle school I-“ his face turned red.

“You’ve been my best friend since middle school. I love you as a person and more recently I realized that I-“ and he glanced away in embarrassment. “I love you, more than just a friend. But I didn’t want to scare you, or disgust you, so I never said told you, even though I know I should have.” He was flushed from head to toe and his body language was nervous.

“The girl was just a classmate, and I tried going out with her but I realized the very first time I was alone with her that it could only be you. She couldn’t even compare to you.” And with this his eyes shifted and met the golden ones.

Kenma thought for a moment. As much as he wanted to be upset, he knew he had done the same thing... been so dependent and close while being afraid to face his true feelings. And Kuroo was being so truthful, and Kenma suddenly felt like an idiot. 

“Kuro...” his cheeks were red. “I’m the same.” 

The raven looked as though a great swell had erupted in his chest, breaking over and flowing through his veins as relief and happiness began to form on his features.

**Author's Note:**

> Date when this will be completed as a full one shot is TBD


End file.
